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Thank you
Lu Su
Toy Wonders, Inc.
www.toywonders.com
201-229-1700
God and the Art of Toy and Diecast Marketing
Marriage in the 21st Century (Point of Contention)
By L S Su
I've returned to this subject once again. It is a profound and momentous topic that will eventually affect everyone. I also don't think any human, at this particular stage in the 21st century knows or understands the long term effects when the traditional definition of marriage is redefined more broadly. I believe it's like the early stage of the internet. You sense that the future will change; but when you are in uncharted territory it's difficult to predict whether the change will be more beneficial or harmful.
Who knew when (I think it was Al Gore) first started the internet, that I would have the benefits of Pandora internet radio and Netflix streamed to my house through a Verizon FIOS connection? Who knew when the internet first started that well established companies like Tower Records, KB Toys, Borders, and Blockbuster would be doomed? Who knew that the internet would spawn all these cool and neat high tech gadgets? Who knew that the internet could cause the collapse of autocratic governments because of their inability to control and suppress information to their citizens? Who knew back then that my best friends' former college suite mate would take a chance on this startup company and become one of the founders of this unknown (at that time) company called Google? Who knew numerous good friends and relatives of mine would be unemployed with car payments, mortgages, and lots of mouths to feed -all because of the internet?
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Changing the definition of marriage will have long reaching effects; however the effects (good and bad) will not be seen as quickly as the internet. But something we do know that a family is the most fundamental unit of government. Assuming you don't have a Homer Simpson-like dysfunctional family unit, well ran family units are far more efficient than any other government body in meeting the physical and emotional needs of its members. In general family unit are far more adept in overcoming hardship and difficulty. A family unit is also better in setting goals and celebrating achievement within its own body. For example, recently I got a "atta boy" from my wife and not Governor Chris Christy when I recently unclogged a toilet.
Notice that I'm making moral judgments here. Whenever someone use the word "better", a person is making a moral judgment. One of the most simple tactics used in discussing a controversial topic is to use your personal morals to express your thoughts, but then ask the other party to keep their personal morals out of it (e.g. traditions, God, faith, religious beliefs).
We're living in interesting times. At this particular time in the 21st century, mankind in this country and throughout the world is making a concerted effort to expand the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples. At the time this article was written, 15 states in the United States plus the District of Columbia have legalized same sex marriage. 34 states in the United States have banned same-sex marriages. And 1 state has no laws that ban or permit same-sex marriages.
In the United States this is how it current breaks down:
| State (15) |
Same-sex marriage legal? |
When? |
How? |
| MA |
yes |
May 17, 2004 |
court decision |
| CT |
yes |
Nov. 12, 2008 |
court decision |
| IA |
yes |
Apr. 24, 2009 |
court decision |
| VT |
yes |
Sep. 1, 2009 |
state legislature |
| NH |
yes |
Jan. 1, 2010 |
state legislature |
| NY |
yes |
July 24, 2011 |
state legislature |
| WA |
yes |
Dec. 9, 2012 |
popular vote |
| ME |
yes |
Dec. 29, 2012 |
popular vote |
| MD |
yes |
Jan. 1, 2013 |
popular vote |
| DE |
yes |
July 1, 2013 |
state legislature |
| RI |
yes |
Aug. 1, 2013 |
state legislature |
| MN |
yes |
Aug. 1, 2013 |
state legislature |
| CA |
yes |
Jun. 28, 2013 |
court decision |
| NJ |
yes |
Oct. 21, 2013 |
court decision |
| HI |
yes |
Dec. 2, 2013 |
state legislature |
| State (35) |
Same-sex marriage legal? |
When? |
How? |
| AL, AK, AZ, AR, CO, FL, GA, ID, KS, KY, LA, MI, MS, MO, MT, NC, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA, WI |
no |
various |
constitutional amendment and state law |
| NE, NV, OR |
no |
2000, 2002, 2004 |
constitutional amendment only |
| IL, IN, PA, WV, WY |
no |
1996 to 2003 |
state law only |
| NM |
abstain |
|
|
At the time this article was written, 16 countries in the world have allowed same-sex marriage. These countries include:
| Country |
Same-sex marriage legal? |
When? |
Where? |
| Netherlands |
yes |
Apr. 1, 2001 |
entire country |
| Belgium |
yes |
June 1, 2003 |
entire country |
| Spain |
yes |
July 3, 2005 |
entire country |
| Canada |
yes |
July 20, 2005 |
entire country |
| South Africa |
yes |
Nov. 30, 2006 |
entire country |
| Norway |
yes |
Jan. 1, 2009 |
entire country |
| Sweden |
yes |
May 1, 2009 |
entire country |
| Mexico |
yes |
Mar. 4, 2010 |
regional |
| Portugal |
yes |
June 5, 2010 |
entire country |
| Iceland |
yes |
June 27, 2010 |
entire country |
| Argentina |
yes |
July 22, 2010 |
entire country |
| Denmark |
yes |
June 15, 2012 |
entire country |
| Brazil |
yes |
May 14, 2013 |
entire country |
| France |
yes |
May 29, 2013 |
entire country |
| Uruguay |
yes |
Aug. 5, 2013 |
entire country |
| New Zeland |
yes |
Aug. 19, 2013 |
entire country |
| Britain (England and Wales) |
yes |
Spring 2014 |
regional |
| United States |
yes |
2004 - 2013 |
regional |
One thing I would like to bring to your attention is that the majority of states that now recognize same sex marriages were able to achieved this through the actions of judges or state legislatures. With the exception of the state of Washington, Maine and Maryland, whenever the people of that state were given the opportunity to cast their vote on same-sex marriages, the majority of the people in that state voted against same sex marriages. The great majority of the judges and legislative representatives have interpreted that banning same-sex marriage is a discriminatory act, conclude that discrimination is wrong, and thus it is unconstitutional.
Without a doubt in my mind, banning same-sex marriage is a type of discrimination based on sex. But here is the thing; discrimination based on sex occurs every day in our society. Many clubs and organizations have members that are of only one particular sex. Women seem to get annoyed when men enter women's locker and bathrooms. Women are banned from playing in the NBA. Some professional males tennis players that have never won a major tournament would greatly increase their chances of capturing a title if they were not banned from tournaments currently designed for only female participants. Why do we sometimes allow sex discrimination and ban others? I think some people will attempt to justify some type of sex discrimination based on the argument that as long as there is a separate but equal thing out there, then it's justified. But we've gone down this road before.
If you recall our country did pursue a "separate but equal" type of legal doctrine, which became constitutional law and it then effectively legalized segregation. Under this doctrine, services, facilities and public accommodations were allowed to be separated by race, on the condition that the quality of each group's public facilities was to remain equal. The "Separate but Equal" doctrine was eventually overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court in the case of Brown v. Board of Education in 1954. Apparently separate institutions, services, and accommodations were not equal.
I think all reasonable people will agree that civil unions is separate kind of institution, but not equal to the institution of marriage. I think almost all people will agree that the WNBA is not equal to the NBA in terms of money, viewership, sponsorship, and opportunity for stardom. So in our country, sex discrimination still occurs. So when is sex discrimination justified and when is it unjustified?
I remember a few months ago a member of our Congress, when he had his opportunity to get his 3 second sound byte in, stated that he wanted to "stamp out ALL discrimination" in our country (you need to clench your fist and stomp with one foot to get the full effect of his statement). I found his statement interesting.
This congressman is going to to prevent coaches from discriminating skill level among players? In order to cuts people from the team, you need to discriminate based on something. You must exercise discrimination in order to create a varsity, JV and freshman team. Someone at our elementary school exercised discrimination in telling our neighbor's son that he needed to attend a special speech class -to which their son replied, "I don't need peech classes". Our legal system discriminates between lawful and unlawful individuals. This congressman is going to stamp out all discrimination?
The fact is that each of us discriminates every day. Just this same morning, my wife noted that I was wearing two different socks. But I choose not to discriminate based on color; and emphasized that my socks are the same because I go by thickness.
This brings me to the second point when it comes to controversial topics. The side you are on, makes reasonable and good judgment calls. But the opposite party is obviously subjectively, way biased, practices discrimination, and of course......they need to also keep their personal morals to themselves..
So what is with all the controversy with same sex marriage? One group of people wants to join the club and enjoy membership benefits; why do certain groups want to ban them from the club? Why all the resistance? I think if you were to examine the side that is putting up the most resistance towards the inclusion of same sex couples in marriage, groups that have strong religious affiliation are putting up the most. I'm going to make an educated guess that the stronger individuals adhere to their religious beliefs (e.g. Judaism, Christianity, Islam), the greater the resistance towards same sex marriages.
The largest religious group in the United States is Christians. For example if you look at the states that are considered in the Bible Belt of this country, you'll realize that none of these states have accepted gay marriage (yet).
Unless you have been living a pretty reclusive life, you too are probably acquainted with people who are gay or lesbian. For myself, this is a very difficult subject to write about, because I have acquaintances and a good friend that are gay. I personally do not wish to ban my friend from the institution of marriage; If this institution could bring my friend and partner a greater level of happiness and fulfillment, why wouldn't I want that for them? What in Christianity causes so much friction against a homosexual lifestyle?
Upon occasion I'm asked to serve as a substitute for high school level kids during Sunday School. I've also noticed the older the kids get the philosophical and tougher their questions become. Questions like, "Are homosexual acts sinful?" and "Are homosexuals going to hell?".
Next time, lets look at the point of contention and answers to tough questions like this, but in context to what God says about this subject.
Sources:
ProCon.org (nonpartisan, 501(c)(3) nonprofit public charity), Marriage
Freedomtomarry.org, The Freedom to Marry Internationally
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