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God and the Art of Toy and Diecast Marketing
Marriage in the 21st Century (The Trouble with Groupings)
By L S Su
Last time I gave you the single question that resulted in so much grief today. The simple question posed several thousand years ago that brought so much grief here on Earth was, "Did God really say?" Though God has made readily available on what He said, most of us prefer to ignore and go do what we want to do.
Humans have been around for several thousands years. Isn't it good to try new things from time to time? One Summer I took my kids to an ice-cream parlor and one of the flavors was called Play-Doh. The color (this fluorescent yellow) and texture also looked just like Play-Doh. Most of the members in my family were thoroughly disgusted with the idea of heaping spoonfuls of Play-Doh into your mouth; but the clerk told us it's really good and offered us a free tasting. We all sampled and my youngest son ordered it.
Humans have been around for several thousands of years. Isn't it good to try new things from time to time? I googled, "arguments for same sex marriage" and on the first page of results I found a very well written article on this site called BalancedPolitics.org. These are the arguments presented in favor of broadening the definition of marriage to include same sex marriage:
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Denying them is a violation of religious freedom (civil and religious marriages are two separate institutions).
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Marriage benefits (such as joint ownership, medical decision-making capacity) should be available to all couples.
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Homosexuality is an accepted lifestyle nowadays with most evidence strongly supporting biological causation.
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Denying these marriages is a form of minority discrimination.
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It doesn't hurt society or anyone in particular.
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The only thing that should matter in marriage is love.
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The number of child adoptions should increase since gay couples cannot pro-create (although some might see an increase in gay adoptions as an argument against same-sex marriages).
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It encourages people to have strong family values and give up high-risk sexual lifestyles.
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The same financial benefits that apply to man-woman marriages apply to same-sex marriages.
The above nine points are all excellent arguments. I think almost every human being would agree that each statement is true (or at least contains some truth). However, I do take some exception to #6.
If you look down the centuries of man and even today in some cultures, love was not the highest priority when it came to marriage; many marriages were/are arranged to bring prestige, title, security to the clan/family, and a means to re-distribute assets. It's only when a society becomes individualistic oriented with a robust social security system, then love can be elevated above the many other needs within a marriage. At least I would be surprised if the advice from a farmer whose livelihood and social security comes from his children working the land would be, "Son, the only thing that should matter in marriage is love."
Notice that none of the arguments invoke an absolute or a transcendent being who ways and desires do not change. None of the arguments start out with an axiom (e.g. we hold this truth to be self-evident). There is good reason for this. With no absolutes in place, what is right and wrong is a moveable line correct? This entire controversy in the first place is all about right and wrong correct? Proponents of same-sex marriage think it is morally wrong the way marriage is currently defined in the US and most of the world. But without the ability to anchor your morals in an absolute, you'll have difficulty in defending your definition of marriage. Let me show you.
I grew up with Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin and his stuffed tiger Hobbes gets my vote for the all time best comic strip for the 20th century. The creator Bill Watterson got this comic strip to appear in pretty much every major newspaper in the country 27 years ago. I think this comic strip directly relates to the topic on hand.
First of all, the child's question is reasonable. Calvin asks his dad why live with only one female when you can live with several? Who decided that marriage should be defined as a monogamous relationship? Why don't we humans follow the format of other animals like bucks, lions, and elephant seals?
Back to Calvin's question. Why live in a house with just one woman when you could live in an apartment with several scantily clad women? I think there has got to be a few men that would prefer less yard maintenance and lots of scantily clad female roommates. Maybe even some women might prefer this format too. My wife after exhausting day has told me, "I need a wife."
Polygamy is a marriage format involving multiple partners. Polygamy is a Greek word that when translated literally translates means "many married". Though we get the word from the Greeks, the concept of marriage with multiple spouses at one time has been around for a very long time -even before there were people living in Greece. The Bible documents family units having this type of marriage format (e.g. Jacob, King David). All three major religions Judaism, Christianity, and Islam trace their ancestry through men that had multiple wives. Polygamy is still practiced today. Polygamy was practiced in the US too from a group of people that calls themselves Mormons.
Speaking of Mormons, quick anecdote. There is a ski resort in Utah where they take advantage of the bill board space on the back of their four person chair. If you think about it, it's a great place to advertise because you literally have a captive audience sitting directly behind the advertisement space for about 25 minutes. One of the ski lifts, instead of the typical advertisement for a service or food, simple had seating assignments: husband, wife, wife, wife.
The nine arguments above would be useless in defending marriage to exclude polygamy. Wouldn't you agree that these would also be excellent arguments for polygamists?
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Denying them is a violation of religious freedom (civil and religious marriages are two separate institutions).
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Marriage benefits (such as joint ownership, medical decision-making capacity) should be available to all members.
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Polygamy is an accepted lifestyle nowadays with most evidence strongly supporting biological causation.
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Denying these marriages is a form of minority discrimination.
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It doesn't hurt society or anyone in particular.
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The only thing that should matter in marriage is love.
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The number of child adoptions should increase -especially if the husband impotent.
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It encourages people to have strong family values and give up high-risk sexual lifestyles.
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The same financial benefits that apply to man-woman marriages apply to polygamy marriages
In the attempt to define marriage, a grouping must be made. Whenever you make a grouping, you need to exclude someone or something from the group; or you cannot make a grouping in the first place. So before telling me what marriage is, tell me what marriage isn't. If you know what marriage is, surely you know what marriage is not.
If your definition of marriage excludes polygamy and you define marriage is a monogamous relationship between two individuals, aren't you then discriminating against individuals who want multiple wives or husbands? Furthermore, the above nine arguments opens the door for all different types of marriages -not just polygamy.
I forgot what movie this line came from. But there is a scene where these adolescent boys are sitting and talking about girls they've dated and kissed. Then one of the boys suddenly says, "My mom is the best french kisser."
Will your grouping for marriage exclude those who are blood related? Why? What moral reason do you have to exclude this? If a son wants to marry his mother, they're not hurting society or anyone in particular correct? All of the above arguments work pretty well for him too.
Will your definition for marriage be so narrowly defined, that you'll state that marriage is an institution between two people? There are a lot of pet owners out there that really love their pets. Will your grouping also exclude inanimate objects or virtual ones too? I happen to be pretty fond of Siri on my Iphone. The nine arguments could work well for those who prefer a virual wife too.
Next time, how the Christian world view is able to define and defend marriage.
sources:
Should Same-Sex Marriages be Legalized? by Balancedpolitics.org
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